Hey ya'll. Last Friday the fam and I got together for a small little ceremony commemerating the life and times of my Nana and Papa and putting them in their plot, next to my uncle Mike. I really tried to make this a great day, thinking of the great times, as opposed to the ones chock-full of sorrow!
My Mom had an (excellent) idea, wherein I wrote a little (lengthy) piece to put in with them and here it is:
I am a positive person (or “dude” as I normally refer to myself as, but hey, this is some classy writing here.) I have a truckload, nay, a boatload to be thankful for.
For instance, I have food on my plate, paste on my toothbrush, and a bed to sleep on complete with a rooftop overhead. But besides that I have been born into a stellar family. A family filled with some of the bravest, caring and remarkable people one could dream of knowing, let alone be related to. I am a positive person because I have been surrounded by this family my whole life and I realize how thankful I am.
One of the first things I can recollect when reflecting about my toddler years was the Incredible Hulk like temper I was blessed (cursed) with. It’s a sliding scale. Tantrums were thrown, breaths were held. I even threatened to bang my head against the pavement in lieu of not getting my way. My parents, the smart cookies that they are, realized my empty threats and called my bluff. If I had a tail, it would rest squarely between my legs as I marched in my room, a defeated and grounded boy.
When I wasn’t trying to inflict punishment on myself, it was more often than not directed towards my older, cooler and calmer brother, Dave. He vary rarely took the opportunity to return the favor and knock my block off. He was very tolerant towards me, even though I often didn’t deserve it.
We weren’t always at odds, however. We played together quite a bit. My bro is four and a half years my senior but when we did play together we could be found co-promoting a show consisting of our trusty WWF LJN rubber wrestling toys. We loved wrestling so much we decided to try our hands at the sport by setting our sights on the coveted Tag Team titles held by our once lovable, plush companions, now turned enemies: Big and Orange Ted. Our basement morphed into an arena as the furry duo proved to be worthy adversaries but at the end of the day, they were just fake teddy bears and we eventually captured the championships and the glory associated with toppling those cuddly competitors.
Dave and I spent a lot of time together, and if we weren’t it was because
a) he wanted to play alone and have his own He-Man adventures or b) because I got sent to my room for not letting him play He-Man in peace. I wasn’t a monster all the time growing up, mostly when we stayed at our Nana and Papa’s or our Uncle Mike’s.
At the time we lived down the street for our Nana and Papa and our visits were frequent. Our parents were enrolled in a bowling league, and as a result our Grandparents were given the responsibility of watching Dave and I. We loved it because our Grandparents were a lot of fun to be around (as were our parents) but we would always watch the WWF Cavalcade of Wrestling and Hockey Night in Canada. That’s not all; we would also get to eat copious amounts of candy and stay up late! Oh, and we bathed together, but that’s just because our family conserved water and we were environmentally conscious before it was cool!
One time our Papa took Dave and I on a hike and on the way home, he hid a five dollar bill in the grass and once we “found” it we couldn’t have been more pleased with our discovery! We also roped Papa into buying bread so we could feed the ducks as well. This however, was prior to us finding the fin or else we would have pitched in!
As far back as I can remember Uncle Mike was always a fun dude who loved Tiramisu! Whether he was dressing up as the Macho Man or throwing a fake centipede in the bath me and Dave were in, causing Dave to vomit, he was a blast! Yeah, I made it a point to mention again that we bathed together, haha!
We would also stay at our Uncle Mike’s often as well, and again, was very cool in our books. We would stuff our faces with candy, and after a trip to That’s Entertainment would acquire a movie of the horror genre. As stated before I am four and a half years Dave’s junior, so I had to put on the brave face when perusing through the spooky section, and when Mike was loading up the VCR with whatever title we picked that no doubt featured ghosts, goblins and a booby or two!
One instance I recall was when we rented Stephen King’s Pet Semetary. Now, I figured it was a couple of cats running around, hissing and killing, no big deal, right? Boy, was I wrong. Before we even started the movie, Mike inquired about why there was a patio chair perched atop his picnic table. Surely none of us put it there, so who was the culprit? Was it perpetrated by the same sort of witch-craft found within the cassette tape we were about to watch? He was just messing with us, but I was already beyond frightened before we even hit the play button! It didn’t help there was some creepy girl in the movie, Zelda, whom one of the characters had to feed due to her illness. If that wasn’t bad enough, when taking us to bed Mike filled me in on the “attic dwarves” he had in, you guessed it, the attic. Of course the entrance to the attic was in the room I was sleeping in that night, or the room I would be wide-awake, terrified in, to be more accurate.
I made in through the night, not without a nightmare where I assumed the feeding chores for Zelda. Needless to say we all had a good laugh the next morning over our bowl of Shreddies and it took me over twelve years before I ever watched Pet Semetary again, and it still scared the heck out of me, not because it’s scary, but because of that night in question. As much as I was petrified I still laughed along and knew it was all in good fun, and fun was one thing Mike was never lacked.
He also always had my back. I don’t like to point fingers or gloss over things, but some things just don’t need to be brought up to one’s parents. Whether it was eating too many chocolate covered Turtles treats, or spinning a bird cage too much (accidentally), causing the cage to fall and the bird, Roddy, to escape for his cage. Those incidents took place at my Uncle Mike’s, and while I did get in trouble, it wasn’t from Mike!
Our family was pretty close-knit on my Mom’s side and because of that we made regular visits to our Nana and Papa’s and Mike’s and that was A-ok with us!
Dave and I didn’t watch wrestling much during this time. Our obsession began since I was a toddler, but the resulting violent streak bestowed upon me from watching it forced my parents to ban me from it for the foreseeable future. Aside from the odd show watched, or a magazine or two read, it wasn’t on our list of priorities.
That all changed in June 1996 when Mike invited all the family over for a barbeque and because of his acquisition of a cable box; a WWF pay-per-view as well!
Mike enjoyed the show, especially Stone Cold Steve Austin, as we all did, and plans were made to catch another show down the line. The next show we saw was in September of 1996, and collectively Dave, Mike and I never missed a WWF pay-per-view until November of 2000!
It was during this time, in September of 1997, that my parents got separated. I’m not sure if I conveyed it enough thus far, but my family was a big part of my life back then (still is). I was thirteen at the time, so between pimples, new hair in places, other puberty issues and now this separation, I was pretty overwhelmed…
That very day the news was broken to us, my Uncle Mike took me along with his daughter, Randi to the African Lion Safari in an effort to take my mind off of things. After vomiting on the way there, I did end up having a pretty good day, but I just had so much going through my brain – I was devastated. This was also at the time vomiting wasn’t part of my daily routine, as it is now.
Mike quickly became a rock for my Mom, whose life had been flipped upside-down, and Dave and I as well. The night it went down Mike took my Mom to Nana and Papa’s to tell them of the sad news. My Papa, the ever-loving jokester that he is, lightened the mood be proclaiming divorce as nothing more than a “fad.”
Despite having a family of his own; Mike always welcomed us over for dinners constantly through the week. One particular occasion saw him refer to my brother and I as the “Divorce Kids.” He received a not-so discreet kick from my Aunt under the table for his remark. Dave laughed very hard, and I did think it was funny, but I was still shaken up. Now I laugh my head off looking back, as humor is a great coping mechanism for me and my family when going through difficult times.
While most kids in my situation could have turned to drinking and drugs and other vices at a young age as a result of divorce, I opted for a different direction thanks to Mike: church.
Mike recently started attending the church near his house, and I tagged along most Sundays from then on out. I became pretty fascinated and borderline obsessed early on, but after I cooled down a bit, I realized it was a great thing to have in my life. It was a constant, much like my family. I didn’t understand some of the things that were said during the sermons, but I did grasp the positive influence that both church and my uncle were having on me.
This also was around the time I started to get into listening to music. Believe it or not I used to despise music. Why? I couldn’t tell you to be honest. I just remember my bro listening to bands like Green Day, Nirvana, Foo Fighters and me going from Banner to Hulk in seconds, screaming at him to turn it down, when it was in fact being played at an appropriate level! Said bands are now among my favorites. I will add that apology to the list for Dave, along with a thousand others after I finish this book!
After church in 1997, Mike and I would hang out and we started listening to Oasis’ “What’s The Story, Morning Glory?” record, and I started really beginning to like them, as well as the above mentioned bands. For Christmas that year, one of Mike’s gifts (besides Ring King and WWF Steel Cage Challenge for the
NES) was recording me a cassette copy of the Oasis record, and I listened to it non-stop! It’s my favorite album of all time!
During the fall of 1998, October 25th to be exact, there was a WCW pay-per-view on that night. Dave was out as the trio didn’t make plans to watch it and we weren’t nearly as eager/religious when it wasn’t a WWF pay-per-view, but I remember Mike calling me that night and wanted to know if I wanted to watch it anyways. Of course I was down, and we watched it and had a blast while doing so, joking around as usual. It was a special date that I will get to again later on.
My Mom, Dave, Patches Rudegar (Yes, I gave our cat a middle name and it was awesome, haha!) and I had moved into an apartment, and my Dad got a place of his own during this time. I can’t put into words how much my Mom looked out for us back then. She would sacrifice anything/everything as long as it provided us with shelter/food/clothing. Back then, I knew she was doing everything for us, but now I realize to what degree. She is a modern-day, living, breathing saint!
In February of the new millennium, I was side-lined with a broken leg after slipping on ice as the result of being late for a math test and racing to the school as fast as my feet could carry me! The Doc informed me that I would have a cast that extended from my hip to my toes for at least four weeks (turned out to be five. Doctors – pffft), and that I would be virtually bed-ridden in the meantime. Mike didn’t hesitate and lent me his cablebox for me to watch movies and wrestling!
In April of 2000, Dave had met a friend of the daughter of my Dad’s girlfriend at the time. Confusing huh? Her name was Amanda. She was, and still is one of the sweetest people I have ever met. She is honest and caring and just pure nice; her family as well. Unfortunately, this new union didn’t sit well with me, and I was a bigger jerk than normal constantly yelling and flailing in the background while they were on the telephone. Yeah, I was 16 at the time. Maturity at it’s finest. I was, to put it mildly, a jerk. I’ll leave it at that.
If I had any defense at all (I didn’t), it was that my brother and I were linked by strong, cosmic force. Divorce? Yeah, sure. But Slurpees is a stronger, more appropriate fit for this particular situation. We loved our Slurpees. It became a ritual that I would meet my brother every Friday night, after ECW Wrestling was over and after Dave was done work. I always thought it was pretty cool he hung out with me all the time, especially when I was acting like a tool shed when it came to his relationship.
About a year later my Uncle Mike started going through a divorce. I felt awful for him as he took it very hard, and rightfully so. We didn’t hang out as much as before at this point unfortunately but it was always great to see him when I could.
He ended up moving in with Nana and Papa, but he always made a point to see his daughters Randi and Samantha whenever he could. They were now relocated to scenic Dunnville, and I remember joining Mike on a trip to pick them up where we listened to Nirvana and talked.
Things were changing again in my life, as I had come to learn/expect. Dave had moved in with Amanda and her parents, and they later became engaged. My Mom was dating a guy, Russ, whom had moved in and soon after problems were popping up faster than pimples on prom night. I have nothing against Russ now, but at the time he put my Mom through a lot, including a brush with the law.
As a result, my Mom ended up staying at my Nana and Papa’s as well (Mike had moved out at the time) and again just showing the sincerity and graciousness of my Nana and Papa. No questions asked they helped my Mom; a great quality they have definitely instilled in her as well. During that time I was living the life of a bachelor with the family cat: Patches Rudegar!
Things got back to normal and Mike was doing well, and he was living again with Nana and Papa. Christmas of 2004 we all were at my Nana and Papa’s before heading to Shelley and Ron’s for our traditional feast of roast beast. Randi and Sam were down and Mike was determined to give them a great Christmas – which he did. I just remember the look on his face as he watched them open their gifts – it was like nothing else in the world mattered, because he was with his daughters and the rest of his family.
Heading into 2005, Dave and Amanda were in the final stages of completing the preparation for their wedding, which was to be held on June 18th of that year.
Around this time, I was hanging out with my buddies Noel, Mitch and Justin and we had some crazy times drinking and partying, but for the most part our conversations came back to one topic and one topic only: knitting! I am kidding, wrestling of course!
We had done some training and were performing at shows, and while we were no Bone-saw Mcgraw’s we were getting better and more confident in our abilities and we wanted to improve and get on more shows!
In the meantime, our primary shows were held Saturday mornings every three months or show. Yeah, nothing quite like starting the day with some Shreddies and some suplexes. That March I battled Ian for Saturday morning supremacy and I feel we had a fun little match seen by thirty, count ‘em, thirty people!
None the less I had placed a phone call to my Papa’s residence the night before, assuring them I would return from this fearsome contest in the same condition in which I had entered. When I called post-fight, I talked to Mike, who was so excited when I told him about the match -it was awesome! We agreed that as soon as I had the tape, he would be up to watch it. He was ready to come up and see it the next day, but I couldn’t get the tape in time. We never did get to watch that match together…We once watched my first match ever, and though I was never one to boast I had improved 80% since then and I wanted Mike to see it…
Mike did end up stopping by a few weeks later however, for some pizza from Pizza Hut, where I received a free DVD copy of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie – my favorite flick then, now and forever! It was also the day Noel and Mike got to meet. Noel had just gone through a break-up and I think it cheered him up hanging with us, at least I hope so.
Good Friday there was an annual Easter hike that most of the family took part in. My Papa and Mike were unsure if they were going to go and I never ended up going, which I really should have. Good Friday still turned out to be good though, as Justin informed Noel and myself that we would be receiving a tryout with a sweet wrestling company. We were stoked!
Easter Sunday of that year was a great one, and bittersweet looking back on it now. My Uncle Mike and I chatted quite a bit, and he was excited for me about the impending tryout. Mike had been through a lot emotionally, but he was really having a good time that day. We took some goofy pictures, and you can really tell looking back how happy and sincere our smiles were. Couple of good lookin’ dudes for sure!
We were also talking about the Stag-And-Doe (Jack & Jill, Buck & Doe, etc, etc) for Dave and Amanda. Mike and I promised we were going to have a blast, get good and drunk together, and get into fights! Maybe not the caliber of Papa’s fights in his hey-day, but we would try our best!
The night ended with a drunken and happy Mike serenading the family with his rendition of ‘Two Pina Coladas’ by Garth Brooks. It was awesome!
The tryout went well and we all ended up getting booked on future shows. My first bout was that May, and it was totally the biggest single break I ever got in wrestling, and was extremely grateful and excited! I couldn’t wait to tell my family, especially Mike!
We still always visited with our Nana and Papa. I always loved going down there for an afternoon. My Papa would never let me take the bus, insisting he come pick me up. He even let me drive his van when I started taking driving lessons! My Mom and Nana said I started driving like him – a compliment, for sure!
My Papa was always firm, but fair. I really valued his opinion and was someone that I never wanted to upset. When I gave my Mom a hard time back then (24/7, 365) he would set me straight. But we always had a blast. When I would get there my Nana and Papa would provide me with some beers, a delicious meal, and plenty of laughs!
One thing they said to me, that I always thought was awesome, was they always made a point to tell me and Dave how much it meant when we called or visited. I didn’t see it as something we had to do. Some people dreaded hanging with their families. Not me. Not us. I loved every second of it.
Speaking of love, it was very apparent my Grandparents truly loved each other! Though they bickered from time to time (who doesn’t) they personified what it’s like to love/care for someone in sickness and in health!
They always made sure I was ok. One time, during a blizzard (or as much of a blizzard as Hamilton gets), I went to meet a wrestler downtown after having lunch with my Nana and Papa. I wasn’t feeling well that day, and I waited for a while, but not without my Papa stopping by with some nourishment from Nana!
Papa Fred possessed a sense of humor not seen by most people. He was hilarious and at times, crude (which was even more hilarious). But therein lies the charm of it all. He always joked around and could ease the tension and lighten the mood with a simple joke. This quality was passed down to Mike and Dave and I share in it as well!
Remember the date of October 25, earlier? Well on that day in 1998 I had a great time with Mike and fast forward exactly one decade later, where I had a great time with my Papa as well.
In the morning, I picked up my Papa, and took him out to Haldimand Motors, as he was thinking about purchasing an automobile. It was such a fun time. As usual, my Papa was hilarious, and we laughed a lot. A classic line I’ll never forget is when he said to me, “Can’t you just drive drunk, get in trouble, and I’ll have your car?” He obviously didn’t mean it, but that’s what made it so funny.
We didn’t have any luck on finding him a new vehicle, but we had a great time in the process, just talking during the drive and having lunch at Tim Horton’s. Later that night, I actually met my girlfriend, Katie at a Halloween party and that just adds to the date, making it all the more special.
Some other good (great) news at the time was Dave and Amanda were months from having their first child. I was beyond ecstatic, as was everyone, but I just couldn’t wait to be an Uncle. They didn’t want to know the sex, but Papa predicted it would be a boy, and he always referred to the baby as “Billy”.
My Nana was the patriarch of our family. She was always cooking HUGE Christmas dinners during our childhood years – which we gobbled down like vultures! How they packed as many people as they did into their little house over the holidays I’ll never know – but it happened, and it always seemed that there was still room to spare.
My Nana had an endless supply of delicious meals that she made and I’d put her mixed spaghetti and homemade french friends against any other meal ever – they were that good!
My Nana was short in height, but not on love or determination. She went through more in the last two years than most people go through in an entire lifetime. She and my Papa had heart problems that required heart bypasses and they also endured cancer. On top of all that, my Nana suffered a broken hip by falling down in the basement. While normally that would have immobilized someone her age (73 at the time), or worse, she persevered and overcame the odds; a recurring theme in her life.
I referred to her as a cyborg and no one in our family ever questioned her toughness. Dave said if she got hit by a car she would just get up, wipe herself off and just keep going, no big deal!
While we were always close, I bonded even more with my Nana a lot over the past few years. I became her personal grocery shopper! I got it down to a science after a while, memorizing and realizing what made for a successful grocery run!
I loved listening to my Nana and Papa’s stories – they had quite a few of them, and they were great tales with some crazy and hilarious moments! Nana always said she should write a book, and given the experiences I witnessed and the stories I heard, it would be a best-seller for sure! Our family always joked that if there were a reality series made about us – it would be a smash hit!
My Nana always told me that she appreciated everything I did for her, and that feeling was obviously reciprocated. But I didn’t do it for any reason other than I loved her and I wanted to help out as much as I can, as I know she has done for me and everyone in the family as well.
I can’t take that much credit, I just helped out as best I can. My Mom, Uncle Brian, Aunt Sandy and the rest of the family really came together to help out when Nana and Papa got sick. I can see where they get their kind hearts from!
If families were glue, Nana and Papa would be super glue; holding us together no matter what, and if the glue stopped holding, they would eventually mend us all back together. It’s bittersweet that in them getting sick, they brought us all together as a cohesive unit once again!
Unfortunately, Mike and Papa were not here to see Dave and Amanda’s beautiful child, Michael (aka Billy) be born. Nana got to see and play with Mikey and you could tell how happy he made her, as well as the rest of us as well. He was a certainly a blessing and a blast of sunlight when things at the time were at their cloudiest.
It’s crazy seeing Michael grow up; just how he’s learning to walk and talk and process everything that he sees and hears. It’s truly amazing. I guess that’s how it was for Mike, Nana and Papa watching us grow up.
While the three of them are no longer here today, I know they are looking down on us, totally in peace. It’s that thought that provides me with tons of comfort, knowing that they are not suffering anymore.
It goes without saying that I will never forget them. How can I ensure that? Well, it’s simple really – if you are always telling stories and remembering people and the good times that you had with them, it’s impossible to ever forget them.
I have always made a promise to myself that if I can be half as cool and make half the positive impact on Michael that Mike, Nana and Papa made on me, then it’ll be a mission no doubt accomplished!
